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High rolling poker action. Glebe lowlifes and reprobates. JT on a conjugal visit from Long Bay.


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Only their mother can tell them apart.


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Jimmy - A really, really, ridiculously good looking cat.


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Straight from the pages of Who Weekly.


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J.R. "Bob" Dobbs, that LIVING GOD WHO WALKS THIS PLANET EARTH IN HUCKSTER'S SHOES.


Sunday, September 12, 2004

Campaigning Ceases as Local Children Rock Howard's Roof 

Campaigning in the Federal election ceased today after the roof of Prime Minister John Howard's house was hit with rocks thrown by local children.

A spokesperson for Mr Howard said," We have decided as a mark of respect for the Howards, and for Mrs Howard in particular who was lunching at the time, to cease campaigning until after the debate tonight."

Mr Howard, who minutes before the attack had been on the roof clearing leaves from the gutters, said, " I am not intimidated by this barbaric act and I will not be swayed until the job is done. I was almost finished and had only come down to check the mail and give Costello a quick call about interest rates when I heard the pitter patter of rocks gently landing on my roof. I know these children will strike again and we must be ready for them. "

It is believed Howard has also ramped up security around his letter box. " I am expecting some important how-to-vote literature this week. I can not afford for some local child to take to my letter box with his cricket bat." Howard's minders believe a strike with a cricket bat is less likely to occur as Summer is still some months away, however, they have not ruled out possible strikes with other heavy objects or even paint.

Mr Howard when asked when he was expecting to complete the gutters said, " Look, I'm not going to get into that right now. The important thing is that I have not been hurt and my lunch has not gone cold."

AAPetey

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