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High rolling poker action. Glebe lowlifes and reprobates. JT on a conjugal visit from Long Bay.


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Only their mother can tell them apart.


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Jimmy - A really, really, ridiculously good looking cat.


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Straight from the pages of Who Weekly.


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J.R. "Bob" Dobbs, that LIVING GOD WHO WALKS THIS PLANET EARTH IN HUCKSTER'S SHOES.


Saturday, September 13, 2003

On the long odds of me ever scoring with Janet Albrechtsen or Emma Tom 

The TooCleverByHalfery Editor-at-Large, lets call her The Red Hot Eloise (TRHE), readers, has charged me with a few volts of realism and suggested i write an article on the remote possibility of me ever hooking in with Janet Albrechtsen or Emma Tom.

Although i frequently hang with conservative columnists i think it's my nipple ring that really prevents me connecting in any more than the dullest of platonic senses. They just don't get body modification,man ! Try as i might to talk about truth in sentencing and my fondness for the Queen's hats they refuse to bite with anything but the savageness they reserve for say, Phillip Adams, when i'm really looking more for a bite they might chomp into John Anderson, National Party leader and widely recognised Conservative love bunny, with ... So, Janet appears long odds ..

Emma Tom ? I still swear i'd be a chance.

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